“I Gave My Son My House for His Future — Now His Mother-in-Law Is Moving In”
Most parents eventually begin to consider how they may make their children’s lives a little bit simpler in addition to their own demands. I’ve always been a mother who believes that family comes first. That conviction served as the impetus for a choice that I now seriously doubt.
I live alone in a cosy three-bedroom house that used to be a bustling family home with all the joy and commotion of raising kids, but now it’s a peaceful place where I go about my daily existence. My son, who recently got married, would frequently comment on how ideal my home would be for starting a family. He and his spouse discussed their desire to have children soon, the home’s perfect layout, and the possibility of creating something unique in the same area where he was raised.
I felt compelled to give them the house because I was moved by his excitement and wanted to help him in his new life. I gave it—not rented, not sold. I thought I was doing the right thing for the next generation when I moved out and moved in with my sister, who was a widow.
However, my son told me something yesterday that made me feel deceived and shook. His mother-in-law will be joining them, he said.
I was taken aback. “I didn’t leave my home so that her mother could live there,” I reminded him.
Without hesitation, my daughter-in-law revealed something that caught me off guard: “We lied about starting a family right away.” We are too young and not yet ready. “But my mum is alone,” she continued. She will move in with us now that we have a larger home.
My heart fell.
I was unable to conceal my rage. I made it clear to them that I didn’t approve of this arrangement. I gave them the house with the idea that they would need a suitable environment to raise a family. Even though I moved away for their benefit, I reminded them that it’s still technically my house.
Then came the most painful part.
“My MIL is much more in need of us than you are,” my son said, meeting my gaze. I have to look after her because she is now also a member of my family.
I was devastated. I had already made such a significant sacrifice to support him, and it’s being rewritten, all of a sudden, not because he wants to help someone in need. I feel as though I was tricked. On the basis of a promise—a picture of a future they knew they weren’t ready to begin—I handed away my house. And so, as I live somewhere else feeling rejected, the very place I gave up in love will now be occupied by someone with whom I have no relationship.
I have nothing against empathy or the notion that in-laws belong in the family. The dishonesty, the lack of communication, and the total disrespect for the spirit in which the house was given, however, are what hurt. In order to create someone else’s future in my place, I refused to give up my past.
I’m now wondering: What should I do?
I’m devastated. I feel like I’ve been taken advantage of. More than anything, though, I feel that my relationship with my kid has changed into something I never anticipated: in a home that used to be mine, my voice is no longer heard, and my support is taken for granted.
I’d rather not fight. I don’t want to start a fight. However, I do want to feel appreciated and respected. Is that asking for too much?