While two blondes are eating lunch, one murmurs,
“I’m getting my breasts done.”
In response, the other blonde says,
“I’m getting my arsehole bleached, that’s nothing! ”
With a shock, the first blonde says,
“Whoa! I had no idea that your guy was also receiving highlights! ”
Enjoyed this? For your amusement, here are forty additional jokes involving blondes:
Joke No. 1
“Do you have any decaf?” a blonde asks the barista as she enters a coffee establishment. “Yes, we do,” the barista responds. “Could you also add some extra decaf?” the blonde adds. The barista clarifies, bewildered, “Extra decaf? Here, there is only one type of decaf! “That’s perfect—I need something extra to keep me awake while I figure this out,” the blonde replies with a smile. ”
Joke No. 2
A blonde is examining a gleaming sports automobile at a car showroom. “Are you interested in trying this beauty out?” the salesman asks excitedly. The blonde responds, “Yeah, I would love to test drive it, but I have a request: could you please send a tow truck to come get me if I drive it off the lot by accident? The blonde smiles and adds, “Great—safety first, even if I can’t figure out how to start it!” The salesperson looks on in confusion and responds, “We’ll take good care of you if that happens.” ”
Joke No. 3
One of the two blondes asking, “Do you think this TV has a remote control?” is as they are looking for a television. After they buy it and get it home, they look at the package in shock. The other frowns and responds, “I don’t know, but if it doesn’t, we can always use our cell phones.” “It says ‘voice control’—we have to shout commands!” yells one. The other says, “Next time, let’s just get a regular TV that lets us press buttons!” and shakes her head. ”
Joke #4
A blonde made a cake from scratch since she wanted to impress her pals. She followed the recipe precisely, but she started reading the food labels on the boxes when it instructed her to “preheat the oven.” The kitchen resembled a library of canned items when her companions came. “Where’s the cake?” enquired one buddy. “I was busy trying to figure out which box said ‘preheated!’” the blonde retorted. Until we figure out the oven, I suppose the cake will have to wait! ”
Fifth Joke
A blonde was looking at an interactive exhibit on electricity at a science museum. The blonde interrupted, “So electrons have their own highway?” as a guide walked up and explained, “This exhibits shows how electrons flow to create a current.” Confused but amused, the guide replied, “In a way, yes.” The blonde smiled widely and continued, “Wonderful—I had no idea I needed to understand how electrons work until I started driving my car! ”
Joke No. 6
“I think something is wrong with my keyboard,” a blonde customer service representative remarked when she contacted for assistance with her new computer. “What seems to be the issue?” the technician questioned. The blonde retorted, “Every time I type, the letters appear in an odd sequence. When I typed “hello,” I got “ohlel.” “Maybe you pressed your hands on the keyboard too quickly,” the expert offered. The blonde chuckled and remarked, “That must be it—I love my computer and was trying to send my greetings so fast! ”
Joke #7
A server at a classy restaurant asked a blonde who was looking at the menu, “Would you prefer still or sparkling water? The blonde responded, “I think I’d like sparkling—does it come with bubbles of excitement?” with a perplexed expression. “Yes, our sparkling water is the most exciting of all our offerings,” the server said amusedly. “Great, I’ll have a glass of that then,” the blonde added. Life is too short for dull experiences, I always say! ”
Joke No. 8
A blonde made the decision to get a parrot from a pet shop. “This parrot is really unique—it speaks three languages!” the store owner said. The blonde exclaimed, “Wow, what are they?” in awe. After giving it some thought, the blonde remarked, “I want the parrot, but only if it can speak in voice messages like my phone.” The owner grinned and said, “English, Spanish, and French.” I can order pizza without knowing any French! ”
Joke 9
“Do you have a book on how to solve puzzles?” a blonde asked the counter at a bookshop. The blonde paused and remarked, “I don’t understand—if it’s about solving puzzles, shouldn’t it be in the mystery section?” The cashier agreed, “Yes, it’s in our self-help section.” That’s the riddle of it, the clerk said with a laugh. “You know what, I’ll take one—maybe it will finally help me figure out where all these books are hidden!” the blonde smiled. ”
Jokes 10
While trekking, a blonde noticed a tiny, transparent pond. She screamed with excitement, “I’m going to jump in and chill down! Shortly after, someone shouted, “Wait, do you realise how deep it is? The blonde shrugged and said, “I can see the bottom from here, but not really! She gasped when she came out after a loud splash, saying, “I told you—I can see it all the way through! It’s like looking into a another universe! ”
Joke No. 11
During a driving test, a blonde was asked by the examiner, “What do you do when you see a yield sign? The blonde said with assurance, “Of course, I give way to my passengers! The blonde went on, “That way, everyone feels safe and included—safety first!” as the examiner appeared confused. The examiner laughed despite the confusion and remarked, “Well, you definitely know the word ‘yield’ in every context! “I always try to make sure everyone gets a turn, on the road and in life,” the blonde added with a smile. ”
Joke No. 12
“Do you sell sandwiches that are made with love?” a blonde asked the cashier at a fast-food establishment. “Well, we make them with quality ingredients,” the cashier said. “I mean, do you have any heart-shaped burgers?” the blonde shrugged. The blonde smiled and said, “Great—I’ll take one then and give it a big hug because I believe every burger deserves a little love!” The cashier laughed and said, “Not exactly, but our burgers are made to be as delicious as possible.” ”
Joke #13
A blonde spent a considerable amount of time gazing at a contemporary picture at an art exhibition. One of the guests questioned, “What do you notice in the painting? “I see a picture of my friend’s hair,” the blonde retorted. “Really?” the visitor asked, laughing. “Yes—it reminds me that life is artful and mysterious, even if it’s as simple as a friend’s blonde locks flying in the breeze,” the blonde said with a smile. “It looks abstract.”
14th Joke
A blonde was instructed to relax and close her eyes during a yoga session. She abruptly said in a whisper to the teacher, “Do you think I would unintentionally become too relaxed if I open my eyes? After a minute of reflection, the blonde remarked, “I guess I’m just worried I’ll be too zen to get my slippers back after class!” The instructor laughed and said, “Just trust the process.” After everyone had finished laughing, the instructor said, “Well, perhaps that is the real way to enlightenment! ”
Joke number fifteen
The blonde was looking at a bowl of mixed nuts during a party. “Are you going to eat those?” a guest enquired. “No, I’m trying to decide—are these walnuts or just really fancy peanuts,” the blonde retorted. “They’re actually a mix of everything,” the guest stated with a smile, and the blonde yelled, “That’s right! I enjoy surprises because I never know if I’m having a fun crunch adventure or a crazy moment! ”
Joke No. 16
“I need help with my new smartphone—I can’t figure it out.” The blonde called her pal and said, “Did you try entering your passcode? Yes, but I typed the numbers in the incorrect order, the blonde retorted. The blonde moaned, “I did that too—but then I used it as a bookmark in my favourite novel!” Her buddy laughed and suggested that she write it down. ”
Joke No. 17
A blonde was perusing a store at a mall when she spotted a button that read, “Press for Discount.” She was so excited that she hit it several times before calling a store manager and asking, “Why isn’t my discount showing? The blonde thought for a long moment before responding, “Oh, so discounts aren’t magical then? That button is just for fun—it doesn’t actually work,” the cashier explained. Instead, I suppose I’ll just need to practise my buying abilities! ”
Joke No. 18
A blonde was attempting to lay out her checkered blanket during a picnic. “I can’t decide – do I fold it like a letter or roll it up like a scroll?” she said after struggling for a few moments. One of the picnickers nearby joked, “Perhaps you ought to ask the blanket for directions! The blonde exclaimed, “Good idea—I’m obviously engrossed in the art of picnic geometry!” with a hearty chuckle. ”
Joke No. 19
A blonde was asked in a quiz game, “What year did the Titanic sink? She said boldly after a lengthy silence, “I’m very certain it was in 1910—right? The blonde shrugged and remarked, “Well, I guess sometimes even the iceberg in my memory misses its mark!” The host corrected her, saying that it was really 1912. Her direct reaction caused the audience to laugh, honouring the amusing unpredictable nature of knowledge.
Joke 20
A blonde was enthralled with the newest virtual reality headgear at an electronics store. The blonde questioned, “So, if I wear this, will I be able to visit outer space?” as the salesperson described how to use it. The blonde’s eyes brightened as the salesman replied, “In a way, yes.” “Wonderful! Even if it’s only a virtual one, I’ve always wanted to take a vacation under the stars! “Just remember to take it off before you try to order intergalactic pizza,” the seller continued. ”
Joke No. 21
In the waiting area of a dentist’s office, a blonde tapped her foot nervously. “I have good news and bad news,” the dentist stated as he emerged. Which do you prefer first? The dentist remarked, “You have a gorgeous smile!” to which the blonde replied, “Give me the good news.” The blonde asked in surprise, “What’s the terrible news? The drill is about to start, the dentist retorted. The blonde chuckled in spite of her nervousness and remarked, “I suppose not even a drill can dull this bright smile! ”
Joke No. 22
A blonde went up to a librarian at a public library and enquired, “Do you have any books on self-improvement? Yes, we do have a number of those, the librarian acknowledged with a nod. Which type of self-improvement appeals to you? “Well, I’d like to learn how to improve my map-reading skills,” the blonde thought. In the aisles, I always get lost! “That’s a unique request—I’ll show you some travel guides instead,” the librarian said with a laugh. “Perfect—one day I’ll finally find my way to the exit without asking for directions!” smiled the blonde. ”
Joke #23
The chef asked a blonde in a culinary class, “What’s the key to a great soufflé? After hesitating, the blonde remarked, “I suppose you need some major fluff! “That’s one way to put it,” the chef responded with a smile. “I’ve been practicing all week—I even tried to teach my hair to rise like a soufflé this morning!” the blonde said. Everyone in the room laughed as they saw her innovative take on the tried-and-true formula for success.
Joke #24
A blonde phoned a buddy for help in repairing her malfunctioning toaster. “I can’t get my toaster to operate! She cried out. Her companion said, “Have you made sure it’s plugged in? The blonde retorted, “Oh no, I forgot to plug it back in after unplugging it to clear all the crumbs! Her buddy laughed and remarked, “So, essentially, it’s on a perpetual vacation? “Yes, it must be taking a long break—perhaps it will return better and toast even more evenly next time,” the blonde chuckled. ”
Joke #25
A blonde was excitedly waiting in queue for a roller coaster at an amusement park. She said, “I hope it goes as fast as my thoughts!” as the journey began. She chuckled as she glanced around the coaster and said, “I’m not sure if my brain is on vacation or if the coaster is speeding! One of her pals said, “In any case, it’s one crazy ride!” as they all started laughing. “That’s just how I roll—fast, fun, and always a little unpredictable,” the blonde said with a smile. ”
Joke #26
In an attempt to impress her pals, a blonde enrolled in a language course. “Can you introduce yourself in French?” the instructor asked on the first day. The blonde said, “Bonjour—my name is… uh… ‘Blondey McBright’,” clearing her throat. The teacher graciously corrected her pronunciation as the class burst into laughter. “I guess I forgot that learning a language takes more than just having a sparkly name!” the blushing blonde replied. She joked that she would be able to purchase a croissant without fumbling her words tomorrow. ”
Joke No. 27
A blonde’s team had to guess a well-known film during a charades game. The blonde began acting out a scenario by feigning a dramatic sinking into a chair. She heard her teammates yell, “Is it the Titanic? “I’m not sure—I just wanted to see if I could sink like a ship,” she shrugged. A teammate said, “Well, even though it wasn’t the right movie, you definitely made a splash!” as the crowd erupted in laughter. “I suppose sometimes my performance goes down with the ship,” the blonde remarked, laughing. ”
Joke number 28
At a chic boutique, a blonde was looking for new shoes when the salesperson said, “Would you want to put these on? The blonde retorted, “I’m not sure if I’m simply experiencing glittery shoe envy or if these shoes are really that gorgeous! They’re undoubtedly a hit this season, the associate remarked with amusement. The blonde retorted, “I suppose I might spark a revolution one glittering step at a time if I could up my shoe game any further! ”
Joke Number 29
A blonde entered the stage during a karaoke night and declared, “I’m going to perform my favourite song! “I hope the microphone doesn’t think I’m too loud!” she exclaimed as she paused while belting out the lyrics. The crowd applauded her and laughed. A buddy said, “You truly know how to make every note shine!” after the concert. The blonde smiled and said, “Well, I think you might as well sparkle—like my hair—if you’re going to sing! ”
Joke 30
“Do you have any pets that can do magic tricks?” a blonde asked at an animal shelter. “We do have a clever parrot,” the shelter volunteer remarked with a smile. “Great—I’ve always wanted a pet that can say ‘Abracadabra’ on command!” said the blonde. The parrot squawked while the volunteer protested, “Polly wants a cracker! “I suppose every magic act needs a little extra charm and a touch of feathered fun,” the blonde remarked, laughing. ”
Joke No. 31
A blonde excitedly showed off her research, a handcrafted model of a volcano, at a scientific festival. “I call it ‘The Eruption of Genius’ because every time it erupts, so does my creativity,” she replied when asked what made her volcano unique. A guest enquired, “Did it work? It did—just before I unintentionally combined too much vinegar and baking soda and created a miniature flood in my kitchen!” The blonde smiled and answered. She said, “Well, sometimes genius is all about making a big splash!” as laughter broke out. ”
32 Jokes
A blonde was shown the treadmill after joining a gym. “This machine will help you get in shape,” the trainer stated. “What happens if I press the ‘I’m too fabulous’ button?” the blonde wondered, glancing at the speed options. The blonde retorted, “That’s okay—I’m already pushing my limits every time I decide to run towards a sale!.” The trainer chuckled and continued, “We don’t have one of those, but I promise this treadmill will push you to your limits!” ”
Joke No. 33
In a photography class, a blonde learnt the fundamentals of exposure. The blonde asked, “Does that mean my selfies are doomed if I don’t get enough exposure?” in response to the instructor’s statement that “exposure makes or breaks a photograph.” The teacher added, “Not exactly—just a little more light and a lot less flash!” as the class chuckled. “I suppose then my camera and I will just have to work on being more naturally brilliant together,” the blonde replied with a smile. ”
Joke No. 34
A blonde made the decision to give gardening a shot. With much anticipation, she sowed some seeds and watched them grow. She went back to the yard a week later and remarked, “I don’t know what I did wrong—the plants still haven’t called me their mum.” Passing neighbours laughed, and one said, “Perhaps you should talk to them like a teacher! The blonde chuckled and said, “Well, I suppose I’ll have to be their favourite substitute teacher if I can’t be their mother! ”
Joke No. 35
A blonde happened onto a booth displaying DJ equipment at a music festival. She was intrigued and said, “What does this button do? “Wow—I didn’t know I could drop a beat just by pressing a button!” The blonde pressed it when the DJ said, “That one drops the beat!” The DJ smiled and suggested that you might like to pursue a career in DJing. “I’d have to learn first, but I’m sure I’d make every party shine with my extra sparkle,” the blonde said, laughing. ”
Joke No. 36
When a blonde attempted to bake cookies, she ended up with a tray full of dough in a strange form. “I thought these were supposed to be heart-shaped cookies, but I guess mine are more like abstract art!” she stated in response to a question concerning the outcome. “They’re special!” said her pal. That’s correct,” the blonde said, “each cookie is a unique work of art meant to both confound and delight. With edible art, who needs perfectly round cookies? ”
Joke number 37
A blonde was assigned to put up the projector for a presentation at an office party. She enquired, “Do I need to plug it in upside down?” when it didn’t work. A colleague chuckled and retorted, “No, just make sure the cable is connected! “I really thought technology needed a fresh perspective sometimes,” the blonde groaned. “I guess I’ll have to stick with my tried and true methods until I decode these mysterious cables!” Everyone laughed as she continued. ”
Joke No. 38
To get in shape, a blonde decided to start jogging. She wound up in a park during her first run and began talking to herself. “Are you talking to the birds?” a runner enquired. “No, I’m just brainstorming aloud—I’m trying to figure out if I left the stove on at home,” the blonde retorted. “That’s one way to keep your mind active while exercising!” the runner laughed. “I might just set a new record if my thoughts can run as fast as my feet,” the blonde replied with a smile. ”
Joke 39
A blonde wanted to reserve a cruise at a travel agency. “Would you prefer a window or a balcony room?” the agent enquired. After giving it some thought, the blonde remarked, “I’m not sure—I always seem to confuse a window with a door.” I’m content as long as I can see my destination! The blonde said, “Well, I guess I’ll take the balcony—fresh air might help clear my mind and remind me how to use a door!” The agent grinned and clarified, “A window gives you a view, while a balcony gives you fresh air.” ”
Joke 40
At the hardware store, a blonde was trying to find a tool kit. “Are you looking for something specific?” the cashier enquired. The clerk handed her a basic kit and said, “This has everything you need to fix small problems.” The blonde grinned widely and said, “Fantastic—I’m going to use these tools to solve the enigma of why my sink drips like it’s telling me a secret!” The blonde responded, “Yes, I need a set that will help me figure out the mysteries of household repairs.” ”
Conclusions and Thoughts
These 40 blonde jokes, which range from technology blunders and cooking accidents to inventive solutions to common problems, are meant to make you grin with their fun exaggeration and light-hearted humour. Every joke serves as a light-hearted ode to the comical aspects of human vices. Even though they make use of popular blonde stereotypes, their sole purpose is to provide a humorous diversion; they are not meant to offend.
From computer repair to baking mastery, we’ve seen blondes in our collection above handle challenging situations with a positive, albeit occasionally humorously confused, attitude. These jokes’ light-hearted tone serves as a reminder that comedy frequently arises from the unexpected events of daily life. We honour the various ways that obstacles can be turned into chances for amusement and camaraderie with every joke.
We hope you found this collection of forty jokes enjoyable, as it goes above the typical word count. I hope these tales will add a little light-hearted pleasure to your day and demonstrate once more that even the most confusing circumstances can make you chuckle!