When a blonde with a baby enters a pharmacy, she asks the employee if she may use the baby scale.
“I apologize, ma’am,” the cashier says. “We have a broken baby scale. However, if we weigh the mother and child together on an adult scale, then weigh the mother alone, then deduct the second number from the first, we may determine the baby’s weight.
“Oh,” the blonde replies, “that won’t work.”
The clerk asks, “Why not?”
“Because I’m the aunt, not the mother,” she responds.
After her first day of commuting into the city, the blond wife returned home.
Her husband said, “Honey, are you feeling all right?” after seeing that she appeared a little peaked.
She said, “Not really.” “Sitting backward on the train has made me sick.”
“Oh no,” he said. “Why didn’t you ask the person on the other side of you to take a seat next to you for a bit?”
She answered, “I couldn’t; nobody was there.”
One day, a blonde with burns on both ears enters a doctor’s clinic.
She is asked what happened by the doctor. “Well,” she explains, “I was ironing my work suit when the phone rang, and I picked up the iron by accident instead of the phone.
“That clarifies one ear, but what about the other?”
“The moron called once more!”
A blonde was using headphones while rollerblading.
She requested a haircut when she went by a hair parlor.
She gave the hairdresser instructions not to remove her headphones.
She departed because the stylist refused to cut her hair.
She said the same thing when she visited another hair parlor.
The stylist consented to trim her hair this time.
The blond eventually dozed out in the chair.
The stylist removed the headphones to rouse her.
The blond crumpled and died on the floor right away.
The stylist put on the headphones, bewildered by what had happened.
“Breathe in, breathe out,” they were saying.
A 65-year-old woman recently gave birth thanks to all the new fertility technology.
Her family paid her a visit after she left the hospital and returned home.
One person said, “May we see the new baby?”
The mother replied, “Not yet.” “I’ll prepare coffee, and we can spend some time together first.”
Another relative said, “May we see the new baby now?” after thirty minutes had gone by.
The mother said, “No, not yet.”
“May we see the baby now?” they said after a few more minutes had passed.
The mother answered, “No, not yet.”
“Well, when can we see the baby?” they inquired, growing increasingly agitated.
“WHILE HE CRIES!” she exclaimed to them.
“Why must we wait for him to cry?”
“Because I forgot to put him there.” Okay?