A cat passes on and arrives in heaven. At the gates, God smiles and says, \u201cYou\u2019ve been a good cat all your life. Whatever you want, just ask.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The cat replies, \u201cWell, I lived with a poor family on a farm and always had to sleep on hard wooden floors.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I\u2019d love a soft place to rest.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSay no more,\u201d says God. Poof! A giant, fluffy pillow appears.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
A few days later, a group of mice arrives in heaven. God gives them the same offer. \u201cAll the lives we were chased by cats, dogs, even brooms!\u201d the mice squeak.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cIf only we had roller skates, we wouldn\u2019t have to run anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
Poof! Each mouse is given shiny little roller skates, and they speed off, thrilled. A week later, God checks in on the cat, who\u2019s stretched out in bliss on his pillow.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow\u2019s everything going? Are you happy here?\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The cat yawns, stretches, and smiles, \u201cHappy? I\u2019ve never been happier.<\/p>\n
And those Meals on Wheels you keep sending over\u2026 they\u2019re the best!\u201d<\/p>\n
LOL!! Four Cats<\/strong> <\/p>\n <\/p>\n To show off, the Engineer called his cat, \u201cT-square, do your stuff.\u201d T-Square walked over to the desk, pulled out a pen and paper, and quickly drew a circle, square, and triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He called his cat and said, \u201cSpreadsheet, do your stuff.\u201d Spreadsheet entered the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that it was good.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, \u201cMeasure, do your stuff.\u201d Measure stood up, went to the refrigerator, took out a quart of milk, got a 10-ounce glass from the cupboard, and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that it was pretty good.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Then the three men turned to the government employee and said, \u201cWhat can your cat do? The government employee called his cat and said, \u201cCoffee Break, do your stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, pooped on the paper, pounced on the other three cats, claiming he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers\u2019 Compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave. And that\u2019s why everyone wants to work for the government!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A cat passes on and arrives in heaven. At the gates, God smiles and says, \u201cYou\u2019ve been a good cat all your life. Whatever you<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2685,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2684","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-viral-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2684","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2684"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2684\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2686,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2684\/revisions\/2686"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2685"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2684"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2684"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2684"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nFour men boast about the intelligence of their cats. The first was an engineer, the second was an accountant, the third was a chemist, and the fourth was a government employee.<\/p>\n