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<\/p>\nA blonde and a brunette were watching the news and they had someone on who was about to jump off a building.<\/p>\n
The brunette says \u201cI bet u he will jump.\u201d<\/p>\n
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The blonde says \u201cOK\u201d.<\/p>\n
Later on he jumps.<\/p>\n
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When the brunette is leaving she says \u201cI can\u2019t take your money, I saw it happen already on the 5 o\u2019clock news.\u201d<\/p>\n
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The blonde says \u201cI did too but I didn\u2019t think he would jump again.\u201d<\/p>\n
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An army trainer was teaching his recruits about survival in the desert.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cWhat are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested, such as food, matches, etc. Then Jay, in the back, eagerly raised his hand.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Jay, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?\u201d<\/p>\n Jay replied: \u201cA compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy`s that, Jay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell,\u201d answered Jay, \u201cthe compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd what about the deck of cards?\u201d asked the trainer impatiently.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, \u2018Put that red nine on top of that black ten!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cYou see,\u201d he explained, \u201cmy wife`s expecting.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026\u201d said the Officer, \u201cI understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck.\u201d<\/p>\n The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation: \u201cMy wife`s expecting.\u201d<\/p>\n The Officer looked surprised. \u201cStill expecting?\u201d he said, \u201cWell, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the week-end off.\u201d<\/p>\n When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. \u201cDon`t tell me your wife is still expecting!\u201d he bellowed.<\/p>\n \u201cYes sir!\u201d said the soldier resolutely, \u201cShe`s still expecting.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat in heaven is she expecting?\u201d cried the Officer.<\/p>\n \u201cMe.\u201d said the soldier simply.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A blonde and a brunette were watching the news and they had someone on who was about to jump off a building. The brunette says<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2682,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-viral-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2681","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2681"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2681\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2683,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2681\/revisions\/2683"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2682"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2681"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2681"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davisrubin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n