The meal that was served on the previous Sunday was supposed to be a casual and warm occasion. I had extended an official invitation to my fiancee, Mallory, to interact with my parents. It had been a while since we had started dating, and it seemed like the proper moment to do so. When all was said and done, she was the person I intended to spend the rest of my life with.
I have never been able to find a spouse who is more perfect than Mallory. She has broad shoulders, is platinum blonde, and although she is not a size two, I would not change a thing about her appearance. She is tall and broad-shouldered. She possesses a powerful character, not only physically but also emotionally. She has a brilliant mind, a kind heart, and a relentless commitment to loyalty. The moment Mallory enters a room, the mood immediately improves across the space. People are drawn to her because of her positive energy and her generous nature. To put it simply, she is the first person I have ever felt fully secure with. She is the one who cooks for me when I am feeling pressured, who pays attention to the slightest details, and who makes me feel like I am seen and understood.
On the other hand, I was able to sense the tension as soon as we arrived at my parents’ house on that particular Sunday. As my mother held Mallory, she hardly managed to muster a smile, and my father refused to even look her in the eye. The atmosphere was dense with an unsettling feeling of silence, as if it were a time bomb that was about to go off. There was a sense of tension throughout the entire supper, as if everyone was holding their breath.
At that moment, my mother leaned in close to me, her voice low, as if she had been waiting for the opportunity to have a private conversation. This occurred as soon as Mallory left the room to take a call. “Honey,” she began, her tone reaching the highest level of seriousness I’ve ever heard, “Are you sure you want to marry someone who is that big? You are not a very tall man. It is not a fit for each other.”
My father, who had hardly exchanged a single word with Mallory throughout the entire evening, finally joined in with his opinion. It was then that he began to discuss “health” and how I would “resent it later.”
I was completely taken aback. I was having a hard time believing what I was hearing. I had the sensation that the ground was shifting beneath me. I had a brief moment of difficulty processing it. I did nothing but gaze at them, attempting to make sense of everything that was going on. I was shocked to see that my parents, who ought to have been my most ardent supporters, were making harsh comments about the lady I love without my permission.
I reflected on Mallory’s generosity, her humor, and the way that she had showed me love that was not conditional on anything when I required it the most. When things were difficult in my life, she was the one that was there for me. My favorite foods, the manner I preferred to spend my weekends, and the way I liked to drink my coffee were all things that she observed about me. She was the one who noted every single thing about me. I reflected on the fact that she had my back at all times, that she made me feel like I was someone unique, and that her presence made me feel like I was at home.
Nevertheless, here they were, making judgments about her based on the way she looked. How was it possible for them to miss what I saw? On what basis could they reduce her to anything as superficial as her physical appearance?
In the moment, however, I did not argue with you. Mallory was not defended by me. Despite the fact that every part of me wanted to raise my voice, I refrained from doing so. In an attempt to make sense of all that had happened, I just sat there, speechless, attempting to contain my disbelief. While I didn’t want to start a conflict, I was aware, on a more fundamental level, that something needed to be different.
When Mallory asked me later that night why I seemed wrong, I realized that I had been carrying the weight of their comments with me. I had been carrying some of their words with me. In addition, I became aware that I was faced with a decision. I have the option of continuing to sidestep the problem and continue to play it safe with my family, or I could finally take a stand for Mallory and let them know how I honestly feel about the situation.
Something was something that they were not yet aware of. something that I had not been prepared to reveal to them until this moment.
During the time that I was lying awake in bed and stared at the ceiling, Mallory was soundly sleeping next to me. Her face was calm and tranquil, and her breathing was steady; it appeared as though she had no issues going on in the world. It was something that I always admired in her because she was able to fall asleep so quickly. Over the course of that evening, however, I was overcome with a feeling of remorse. It was as if the words of my parents had embedded themselves in my head, leaving me feeling disturbed. It was clear to me that I had to have a conversation with them, regardless of how awkward it could be. I was unable to continue assuring myself that everything was fine when in reality it was not.
When I awoke the following morning, the room was filled with the aroma of pancakes to greet me. While Mallory was standing at the stove, she was wearing her old gray sweatpants, which were stained with paint from the time that we had redecorated the living room that we had done together. I was feeling a little lighter as I watched her flip pancakes with a smile on her face. Her carefree attitude made me feel like I was floating on air. I was reminded of how fortunate I was to have her in my life by the fact that she prepared a meal for me, which was a task that she accomplished quite effortlessly.
Nevertheless, even as I stood there, seeing her work, I was aware that I could not continue to ignore the fact that there was an elephant in the room. After avoiding the talk with my parents for a considerable amount of time, it was finally time to have the conversation with them. It wasn’t just about protecting Mallory; it was also about protecting the future that we had together, a future that wasn’t going to be determined by outmoded expectations or limited perspectives.
My eyes were opened by that Sunday dinner, despite the fact that it was excruciating. Having come to this realization, I was aware that in order to have a genuine relationship with Mallory, I needed to be willing to advocate for her, even when it was challenging. The fact of the matter was that my family is not required to comprehend her. They did not have to give their blessing to her. But I did it. Moreover, I was not going to allow their opinion to interfere with the things that I believed to be true and appropriate for me.
In comparison to the manner in which my parents had treated her, Mallory deserved better. And at long last, I was prepared to make it clear to her that I would always pick her, regardless of what other people thought.